Posts Tagged ‘hotel utah’

150509-Utah

Tomorrow night my electro-glam trio, Shot  in the Dark, opens for Elliot Schneider as he celebrates the release of his new CD Better a Fool Than AloofAlso on the bill is Luv Bomb. You can purchase your tickets here.

 

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It’s amazing how bogged down we can get with our own anxiety and self doubt. I woke up this morning and mentally ran through all the possible failure scenarios for my show tomorrow night at the Hotel Utah.  Just a month ago I was impressed by my ability to do what I’m doing and eager to share it with an audience.  This morning I’m wondering what the hell I was thinking when I decided to do this show.  Do you really think you can pull this off, asks that nagging little voice in my head. And the truth is, I don’t know.  It will be what it will be.  But I do know that running failure scenarios serves no purpose, or does it?

My oldest son is starting junior high next fall.  Diagnosed with Asperger’s Syndrome in kindergarten, his early school years were rocky to say the least, but at the transitional IEP (Individual Education Plan) meeting I attended this week, the teachers and administrators declared him a success story.  Later that same day he and I attended an orientation meeting at the junior high for all incoming students.  As we walked out of the meeting I knew that look on his face.  He was worried.

 “What’s wrong,” I asked.

 “I think I’m going to get bad grades and detention.  It sounds like it’s going to be hard,” he said.

 I know my son pretty well, and while my impulse was to give him a big ol’ “Oh, you’ll do fine!” I knew that a blanket of soft, fluffy platitudes wouldn’t even begin to cover his anxieties. Instead I decided to break it down. What if he did get a bad grade, what could he do? He could work harder on his homework; he could ask for help from his teacher or his parents. He could make sure he understood what was expected of him, even if he had to ask a lot of questions.  Why did he think he would get detention?  Which school rules seemed hard to understand or follow?  And so it went all the way home.  At the end of the talk I told him about the IEP meeting and how his teachers spoke highly of him; he’s been getting good grades, seems to excel at math and has even developed a few friendships.   He seemed pleased to know his teachers liked him and he even gave himself a pat on the back for being a good math student.  Did this dispel his anxiety?  Not completely, but it seemed to assuage his fears in that moment.

Getting through a short set at Hotel Utah is about a zillion times easier than navigating junior high (and I’ve already done that, so there’s a whole different perspective on the situation).  Still, I’m nervous and so I’m going to follow my own lead and run some of those failure scenarios and figure out what I might do should any of them come to pass.   

As far as I can tell, rock and roll is all about swagger, getting your super ego blotto and taping directly into your inner wild child, the id.   There’s not a lot of swagger to my plan.  But then, my inner wild child is 42.  Perhaps creative problem solving is the new Jack Daniels of the middle aged synth pop set.

Or not.

I’ll let you know.

 

I’m very pleased to announce my first live show on Saturday, May 28th at The Hotel Utah in San Francisco, CA.  I’ll be opening for  the always amazing, Ready!Ricochet and San Diego artist,  Maren Parusel.  It’s a particularly auspicious occasion, as it is also Ready!Ricochet’s CD release party.

For my performance, I’ll be doing a few songs solo with my keyboard and looper, and then I’ll be joined on stage by Ready!Ricochet drummer, Gina Montel and bassist, Erica Liss for two song off of my upcoming EP.  Also sitting in with me will be Pauli Gray on guitar and my husband, Scott on keys.  

 Scott and I haven’t shared a stage since the mid 90’s when he decided he’d had enough of the musical life.   He has supported my musical endeavors 110% all these years and even plays some key on my CD.   I’m thrilled that he’s “coming out of retirement” for my show.

Pauli, Gina and I used to be in a band together called Candy From Strangers.  CFS was a fabulously trashy, glam-punk-pop affair.  It was most likely the best band I will ever take part in, so I remember it fondly.  It will be great to be on stage with Pauli and Gina again also.

I’ve always excelled at making beginnings ending, and occasionally vice versa.  While I would love to think of this show as the starting point of something, I’m thinking of it more as a milestone.  I’m conflicted when it comes to performing live.  I’ve had some amazing  experiences on stage, but I’ve had  more bad nights which have left me wondering why I do this at all.   Sometimes being a performer feels like being a lion tamer working with an unpredictable beast, the audience.  You put your head in its jaws hoping it will eat you up in the best possible way, rather than just chewed up and spit out.  I guess lion tamers never want to be eaten at all, so strike that last attempt at metaphorical language.

If you happen to be reading this from the San Francisco Bay Area, let me at least recommend you come see the show just to catch Ready!Ricochet, particularly if you like post-punk/industrial/synth-driven music.  Here’s a taste from their last show.